Nov 4, 2012

Random Thought (7): عن التربية أتحدّث

Dear Parents,

Please allow me to open my heart and talk frankly with you… I know that your first matter in the world is US (your children) and I know very well that you get up there in the early morning going to work, stay till late –may be till dawn or even stay at work and don’t get back home for days- for our own sake, and to provide us with a good financial life that supports what our goals in life..

I know that and we appreciate it a lot…

Just there is one missing point; we need more than that! I don’t mean more “Money”! I mean more YOU!

We need your presence in our life, we need you to be part of it… we need the home to be warm and gentle… we need the home to be the comfort Zone to which we return at the end of the day to recharge..

Dear Parents, you are a multifunctional support system for us; we need your support "emotionally" before "financially"

Your kids need to see you home, to feel that you care for them by asking them about the details of their lives –not as investigation, but more like sharing- we need your guidance in the simplest things that can actually appear ridiculous to you! Your girl needs to have a “girls talk” with her mother; your boy needs to have a “Men talk” with you as well! They need to see the whole family gathering around the dinner table chatting and laughing with no boundaries... They need to go out with you and have fun as a family, go to the movies may be, go to the club… doing anything for fun… They need to feel that there is a special time for them in your life!

One of my friends told me once that in life we all have 4 balls we play with like the circus clown.. Family and friends, Health, Spiritual and Job… They are all made of glass, except the Job which is made of rubber… if one of those balls fell, it’ll be broken or scratched and it will never go back the same way… But the “Job” ball if fell, it will bounce back to you!

Dear Parents, your kids need to see love between you two...

They need to see how you “dad” care for “Mum”, appreciate her, respect her, listen to her without feeling offended and taking a defense position, take her in a date out, bring her small gift that draw a smile on her face, call her from work just to check on her and tell her to “take care, I love you and I miss you”..

And You “Mum”, they need to see that you care for their “daddy”; that you trust him, respect him, accept him just the way he is and not trying to change him, they need to see how you care for him and be keen to provide him a comfortable environment at home..

The last thing they need to see is ignorance and disrespect of feeling and arguments that have no sense only because you don’t listen to each other… You hear but you don’t listen…

You are ROLE Models for your kids; The way you behave together will affect the way they behave with their partners later on..

And not just that; It actually affects their whole life as they always feel instability, they start searching for comfort zone outside the house… and Only ALLAH knows, what can happen out there…

Dear Parents, Don’t make your home a Motel… Everybody is living his own life without knowing anything about the others! Just get back at night to sleep ONLY! And walk up and the cycle moves on!

Don’t make the only contact between you and your children happens when they need something from you… and don’t wait for them to make that move… It’s NOT THEIR ROLE to do so…

Dear Parents, Take a look at your relationship and evaluate it please, talk together and see what’s wrong and how to fix it… Discuss how did we get to this phase? And how can we make it up? Listen and Don’t Judge… Work out for solutions; don’t just blame each other…

Just know that we –your children- need your care more than anything in the world... We need your time more than your money; we need your hug, we need your advice, we need your encouraging words..

If we have that, believe me that would mean the world to us =)

And Finally, please forgive me if my tone was tough a bit in some parts, I just needed to open my heart and talk to you about how I really feel =)


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